List update 2011

Here it is:

1. paint the porch railing
2. paint the outside frame of the front bay window (15 small panes, ugh)
3. paint the inside frames of the front bay window
4. paint the nursery
5. make curtains for the living room 
6. curtains for the nursery 

OK, so we are READY now!!

Anyone else feel like this is the longest 2ww (“2 week wait” that you have to undergo before taking a pregnancy test) ever? More like a 2yw. It feels like sometime this summer we are going to find out if this is really going to go ahead or not. Positive or negative outcome. I think we’re preparing ourselves for both. It’s going to be hard to go back to diapers, and night crying, and all of that now that we have a (4!!) year old who is so independent. But it will be devistating to find out that it’s a no go and accept the fact that maybe we are a 1 child family. At least we have the 1 right?

Don’t meant to be so fatalistic or anything, but I think this mood might be caused by what I was doing last night; Scraping and painting some of the railing that chipped/peeled over the winter. Sigh.

Another list update

1. paint the porch railing
2. paint the outside frame of the front bay window (15 small panes, ugh)
3. paint the inside frames of the front bay window
4. paint the nursery
5. make curtains for the living room (it’s been almost 2 years with no curtains) – I’m going to have to make a commitment and go buy that fabric before it’s unavailable
6. curtains for the nursery – must confess, a little hesitant, a little part of me is thinking there is a small chance there might be two and so we’ll end up putting the babies in the bigger guest room and have to make curtains for that room instead. Maybe this will be something to do while we wait to travel? Like I’ll be looking for things to do!

If I never pick up another paintbrush it will not be too soon. I am DONE painting.

So hoping to win this!

This – because the olive green/yellow is EXACTLY the colour we painted the nursery this weekend.

List update

Things I Really, Really, Really Want to get Done before The Call comes

1. paint the porch railing – it’s mostly scraped, now I have to find the tin with the paint amongst the 47 others in the basement. Sigh. I just want to garden.
2. paint the outside frame of the front bay window (15 small panes, ugh)
3. paint the inside frames of the front bay window
4. paint the nursery – colour chosen
5. make curtains for the living room (it’s been almost 2 years with no curtains) – fabric chosen
6. curtains for the nursery

 

Here’s the update on the travel. We’re thinking the best plan is still to go over just Daddy and I, and have the Grandparents bring the little firecracker over partway through the trip.

Ideas?

What are/did people do with their toddlers when they went to pick up baby #2. I feel very torn. What I know right now is our little girl, her needs, fears, and therefore she is in my mindset. I’m looking out for her best interests right now. When we went to a seminar put on my MoT almost a year ago, the SW strongly recommended not having other children present for the meeting of child #2. But how could I leave her home for a month? And could we really prevail on family members to care for her for a month? Maybe I should just say to myself not to worry, this one is well attached, loved and has had our undivided attention for 2+ years, now it’s time for us to focus on the needs of the new baby. But I can’t seem to do that. I don’t know the new baby. I feel like babies are so much more adaptable than our little drama queen. Maybe that’s not fair. She will be fine. I want this to be a very positive experience for her. She is SO excited.

What we’re thinking of doing is going over there just the dh (dear husband) and I, and have my parents bring the pancake over about 2 weeks in. That way she will not be exposed to the stress (and risks?) of travel to SA for too long, yet she will be included in the bringing together of our family. We will all travel home together then at the end of our time there.

I’m worried if we don’t bring her that she will be VERY miffed if we arrive home with a baby taking up all our time after having been away for a MONTH.

Is it too much to ask my parents to travel 24 hours with a toddler?

Should she be there for the beginning of the trip and we send her home early with the dh?

What if the new baby is a nightmare in the night and disturbs everybody’s sleep and we wish the pancake was safely at home in her own bed?

Do I wish my Mom was going to be there when we get the baby and when dh has to travel to Johannesburg to go the court and leave me? Will he have to?

Any thoughts? Wisdom?

Lists

I think I have a post titled this on the other blog (now private – sorry) about the adventures (and misadventures) of bringing our first child home. So here is what is on my list right now. It is titled;

Things I Really, Really, Really Want to get Done before The Call comes

1. paint the porch railing
2. paint the outside frame of the front bay window (15 small panes, ugh)
3. paint the inside frames of the front bay window
4. paint the nursery
5. make curtains for the living room (it’s been almost 2 years with no curtains)
6. curtains for the nursery

That’s not too bad is it? I have scrapped 2/3 of the front railing, and the outside frames. The outside needs a good wash. I have scrapped and done a primer coat on the inside of the window. I have picked out a colour for the nursery. It’s progress. Maybe I should aim for the end of April to get this stuff done so that when it stops raining I can start gardening!

We did have other things on the list, but they’re done! The kitchen counter is re-grouted, as is the shower. The trim in the master bedroom and LR/DR can wait. We’re going for function, not beauty this year. Besides, we  have a little trip coming up that we need to be saving for.

Nerves

I couldn’t believe when I heard that these guys  had their referral! For 2! And they waited 3 months. 3?! I’m not ready. I wonder if they were. It’s amazing news, especially since the health of their little one seems so much better. What a strain. (we’ve been thinking about you!).

So 3 months for us will be in about 2 weeks. We were told most waits were about 8 months. I’m guessing ours is going to be maybe 6.

Either way, the timing will be perfect, the news thrilling. But I got a sense of nerves when I heard theirs!

Here’s a funny one, from another fellow waiter…

While We Wait…..

I saw this on a blog and thought it was quite funny. Of course, I have done some of these things so what does that mean?1.) Put your social worker’s phone number on speed dial. Call her every week without fail during the entire process, even when she warns you the wait will still be months. Email her for reassurance on all ‘difficult’ waiting days, such as those containing the letter S. After all, if she hears from you often, she won’t ‘forget’ about you.2.) Sign up on every email list that is remotely applicable to your situation. Check for new email at least once per hour all day long. Post on each group at least 3 times a day. For the most pressing questions, use all caps. 3.) Ask often if anyone has news about the next step in your process, whether it be referrals or court dates or travel dates. Complain bitterly if anyone for any reason seems to get ‘ahead’ of you in the process 4.) Collect waiting information on every family you have contact with. Use this data to spend hours each day making elaborate time lines, guesstimating: a. best case scenario b. most likely scenario, and c. longest likely wait for each step of the process. 5.) Get very bent out of shape if any stage of your process exceeds the ‘best case scenario’ timeline. After all, your adoption is special. 6.) Google all Ethiopian (South African) holidays, mark them on your calendar and worry about how these holidays might slow your process down. Save your angriest thoughts for judges who take days to get back to court after the Ethiopian New Year. After all, we are Americans. We should not have to wait on Ethiopian holidays. 7.) When you finally get your referral, print out dozens of pictures of your child and give them to anyone and everyone, including that nice checker at the grocery store. Then when you see anyone, talk about nothing but every nuance of your adoption. 8.) Ask every traveling family to get pictures of your child, specifying preferred poses and outfits to be worn. Mark their ‘return-home’ dates on your calendar so that you can email them demanding news within 5 minutes of their scheduled homecoming. 9.) Leap out of the bushes at your mail carrier every day, desperately hoping he/she is bearing news from your agency. Consider installing an alarm that rings indoors when your mailbox is opened in the unlikely chance that the mail carrier arrives while you are in the restroom. 10.) Go into a depression at the end of every week, because the arrival of Friday means another weekend to survive till Monday when you can once again hover near the phone/computer/mailbox waiting for news. Doing all these things without fail will ensure that your adoption will feel like the slowest adoption in history

 

Almost 2 months down!

5 days shy of 7 months

Yesterday we got our letter of approval. Phew. That was a marathon. Now we are in the next stage of waiting! I read somewhere that the average wait time for a referral is now 15 months, ugh. I also hear of people waiting just 4. Yikes, for both options!

The baby’s room is empty – which is a good thing. It was full of our clothes and a spare bed. Now it houses a disassembled crib, some bottle liners, infant books, and some other baby equipment. It doesn’t look like a nursery at all, just a room that needs to be painted, full of unused stuff. I couldn’t imagine staring at a nursery for the past 7 months and the next 15. This way it’s ready to be set up at a moment’s notice, but in the meantime, the door is shut on the mess.

I called

We’re not the only ones waiting this long. I’ve been assured that our file has not fallen off someone’s desk into the bin. Apparently families who put in their file just before we did have received their approval, so… it should be any week now. I’ve heard that before!

Trying to stay positive, Carol.